


Swords and Stars

by tishannia



Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-24
Updated: 2020-06-13
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:47:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,980
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24361558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tishannia/pseuds/tishannia
Summary: a collection of cloud & tifa one/multishots and drabbles
Relationships: Tifa Lockhart/Cloud Strife
Comments: 13
Kudos: 88





	1. dangerous

**Author's Note:**

> I have not written for this fandom in nine+ years... and I haven't written anything at all for maybe two now. I'm so nervous to even post this, but the remake woke up an old obsession and here I am. I have lots of things on the go for this right now. Forgive me while I find my characterization footing for this pairing again. I should also warn that I'm totally engrossed in the idea of protective Cloud and while I don't at all think Tifa NEEDS a man to protect her... well... my writing likely won't reflect that until I can get it out of my system.
> 
> I should say I typically try to find one word prompts and go from there, hence the chapter title(s). This one in particular started a certain way in my head and then went off the rails. Hopefully it's not god-awful (read: no beta). 
> 
> Happy reading!
> 
> timeframe: post ACC

It had been a long and dragging day working the bar and Tifa was wiped. It had also been a highly unnerving shift, which was unusual for her. Very little was able to throw her off or make her uncomfortable after all these years, but today one of her customers had managed to achieve it. Nothing had happened yet, but she wasn’t sure it would be much longer before all hell broke loose.

She spared a quick glance in the man’s direction and he was, as he had been for the entire time he had been there, staring an intense and unwavering hole through her. Dread-filled chills rippled over her skin and she almost laughed out loud. Sephiroth was the only person on Gaia who had ever made her feel this way before and she didn’t like the old and familiar lingering fear. It had been a very long time since she had felt that perhaps she couldn’t defend herself against someone - particularly a man - and she felt numb with apprehension.

Luckily Cloud had walked in about an hour ago, home for the night, settling himself into a booth near the back to wait for her to close up. He hadn’t seemed to pick up on her discomfort, let alone even notice the object of her troubles himself so she’d been trying to talk herself down. Surely if Cloud couldn’t pick up on something weird about the guy then she must be reading too much into it.

Maybe Cloud was so used to patrons staring at her after all this time that he had just accepted there was nothing he could do, that he was just any other guy doing the same old thing.

Maybe it was just a coincidence that every time she looked over he just _happened_ to have his gaze on her - who knows what he was doing the rest of the time?

Those thoughts didn’t stop her from freezing when he suddenly stood, his chair sliding gracelessly out from under him. He stared at her long and hard for a moment, before slamming gil down on the bar top and walking stiffly out the door. Cloud’s attention was immediately honed in on his retreating back, frowning until he was gone, while she let out a sigh of relief as all the tension she’d been holding onto melted away.

He looked at her then, a silent question reflected in his eyes. _What was that about?_

She just shook her head and looked away, feeling like an idiot. She made sure she was busy the rest of the night until finally she closed and locked the doors behind her last customer, not wanting to spend any more energy on a guy who hadn’t done anything to her. She felt Cloud’s eyes on her for most of the time and she knew she wasn’t going to be able to get away with a shake of the head. People were rarely aggressive with Tifa and if they were, they were generally very drunk. This guy had had the single drink he’d ordered from Marlene earlier in the evening and there had been no contact between the two of them after that.

‘Well, maybe that’s the reason,’ she thought, chewing her lip as she swept the floor. ‘You ignored him the rest of the night, never once went back over to see if he needed anything else.’ Her gut had warned her away from him but she knew, with a stab of guilt, she had still been wholly unprofessional. She kept internally moping about what she’d done until Cloud was suddenly in front of her, stilling the broom in her hand by placing his own over where she held it.

“Tifa,” he simply said, eyeing her with concern.

“It’s nothing Cloud, I just forgot to check up on him through the night. I’d be mad too if I were him.” She sure hoped she sounded convincing, because it definitely didn’t feel like the truth coming out of her mouth. Sighing and standing straight, she saw she had in fact not assuaged him, but instead his brows were drawn down into a more prominent frown.

“You, Tifa Lockhart, never went back to check on a customer. All night.” He didn’t believe her.

“Yes, Cloud,” she threw her arms out, leaving the broom in his grasp, sounding too loud and annoyed, “that’s what I said.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know.” She didn’t want to admit that someone had struck a niggling fear in her with literally no provocation. It sounded crazy after everything she’d been through and done in life, even though she’d been trained to always trust her gut. “Please just leave it alone... It was a long day and I’m tired. I just want to go get the kids in bed and then get some sleep myself.”

He sighed in response, throwing one last look at the front doors of their establishment - their home - before nodding, helping her to clean up the rest of the bar in silence. It wasn’t long after that they’d wrangled the kids into bed and then they were following suit, Tifa cuddling up close to Cloud, still unable to shake her uneasy feelings. She was rattled and she knew Cloud knew it when he tightened an arm around her back, pulling her flush up against him. She tucked her face into the crook of his neck, breathing him in, until she finally succumbed to what she hoped would be a dreamless sleep.

* * *

She woke sometime later to Cloud’s hand on her thigh, squeezing in a way that alarmed her. They were in the same position she remembered falling asleep in and she pulled her head back slightly to look at him, feeling disoriented from the sudden awakening. She opened her mouth to give him a piece of her mind but she was silenced by him sealing his lips over hers for a moment, squeezing her leg even harder if it was possible before pulling back only slightly to give her a look she recognized easily. Something was wrong.

A cold, icy feeling swept through her when she finally heard what he was likely hearing clear as day with his enhanced hearing - barely audible creaking on the staircase leading from the bar to their upstairs apartment. She would surely have slept through it if Cloud hadn’t been home and she felt nauseous with the realization. For all that she was strong and capable of taking care of herself, she and the children would have been in danger tonight despite the locked doors and the widespread knowledge that Cloud and herself, saviours of the planet not once but twice, lived here.

Cloud wasn’t always home at night. He was home most of the time now as they’d settled back into life after Geostigma had been cured, but there were times when he just couldn’t be with certain deliveries.

_'_ How will I ever sleep again if he’s not here? The kids... _'_

She moved to get up to confront whoever it was that had broken in, but Cloud’s arm became a band of steel, holding her in place. He laid his head back down on the pillow and shut his eyes, feigning sleep and eliminating the faint mako glow from giving him away to the intruder. She laid her head down when he gave her a reassuring squeeze but she couldn’t shut her eyes; her nerves were working overtime, her heart thumping quickly with adrenaline. When she heard their bedroom door swing open slowly she forgot to how breathe and wondered how close Cloud was going to let him get.

She felt his body tense just before he moved and she knew enough to pull away slightly, giving him room while also ensuring she wouldn’t get clipped by him somehow in the process. He was quick, up and over her in seconds and she heard the slam of their bedroom door before she could fully turn to see Cloud with his forearm tight across the intruders neck, shoved up against the door.

The man had his hands up in an attempt to appear non-threatening, but even in the dark Tifa could see the rage in the glare that was directed firmly at her. She shivered with fear when she realized that it was _him_ \- the man from earlier at the bar.

“What do you want?” Cloud demanded in a tone that used to chill Tifa to the bone, allowing a slight decrease in the strength of his arm pressing down on the man’s windpipe so he could talk. The guy didn’t take the opportunity to enlighten them however, continuing to stare at her and it only incensed Cloud further. “ _Stop_ looking at her and look at me. Why are you here?”

“You killed my family! I’m here to settle the score!” The man suddenly thundered and he tried to fight against Cloud to free himself. “You murderous bitch!”

Tifa felt frozen to the spot and watched as Cloud’s entire stance changed with the direct threat against her, slamming him back against the wall with enough ferocity that he could have been gravely injured. What did he mean she’d killed his family? Was this a case of mistaken identity? Except there was no way, it was a well known fact that she and Cloud lived here-

“Go back to your room Marlene and lock the door. Take Denzel with you on your way,” Cloud said suddenly, taking on a much more calm tone of voice. He must have heard her in the hall.

“People like you shouldn’t even have kids,” the man cried out, letting himself sag down against the wall under the weight of Cloud’s fists. “You took mine away...” He started to sob uncontrollably and Tifa felt emotion clog her throat.

Nobody said anything for a couple of minutes, though Cloud did let go and allow the man to crumple to the floor. He was still on guard though, taking only a few steps back from the man. She could see the outline of the powerful muscles in his arms and back tensed, ready to go should he try to attack them. The errant thought that even in boxers he looked deadly was a hushed voice in the back of her mind.

“Were you living in sector seven?” She eventually asked, realizing that it was the only real possibility. Still, after so many years, their decisions on that day were continuing to haunt them. How could she blame him if that were the case? It didn’t matter that Shinra had pushed the literal button, ultimately causing the catastrophe. It likely would never have happened without Avalanche stoking the fire.

The man simply nodded.

“Well, I was just as much a part of that as she was. So why are you gunning for her specifically?” Cloud asked and she could see he was beginning to relax as he crossed his arms over his chest. The man didn’t seem to have a weapon on him or at least wasn’t bothered to reach for it if he did.

“I could never take _you_ down.”

“You’d have just as hard a time taking her down. And you would have to go through me first anyways.” Cloud shrugged, tilting his head.

“Why do you think I’m here in the dead of night?” The man spat bitterly, shooting a glance her way. “Asleep seemed just as good as anything else. That’s how my family went. And you’re not always here.”

Cloud bristled a little at that, but Tifa stood and quickly closed the distance between them, laying her hand on his arm. He took a small step to the side, enough to end up just barely in front of her and she knew he wouldn’t let her get any closer. She fidgeted a little with the hem of her pyjama shirt, unsure what else there was to say. He would’ve seen Cloud return tonight, so he was obviously just finished with waiting for the perfect chance to get his revenge.

Tifa had largely forgiven herself a long time ago for the destruction of the sector, but she doubted the guilt would ever truly go away. Nothing they could say would erase his pain either, though.

“I’m so sorry for what happened. We had no idea Shinra would do something that insane,” she started and he stared back, unblinking. “I can’t change what happened. I wish I could...”

“We have kids here, whether we deserve them or not,” Cloud cut in, not allowing her to get caught up in an old sadness. “Don’t ever come back here. If I catch you anywhere near her, I don’t care where it is, you won’t get a second chance. We’ve paid for our mistakes more times than you know. I’m sorry for what happened to your family - but get out of my house and away from mine.”

She cringed at the open hostility in Cloud’s voice but it seemed to do the trick. The man scrambled up and with one last dark look at them, he turned to open the door and leave the room. Cloud grabbed her hand, squeezing tightly before following, quickly disappearing down the stairs. She stood there staring for too long before remembering that Cloud had heard the kids and she rushed down the little hallway to Marlene’s room, knocking gently.

“Marlene? It’s just me.”

They must have been at the door trying to listen because the door was open in a second and two little bodies rushed her.

“Tifa! What happened? I heard a really loud bang,” Marlene whimpered, wrapping her arms tightly around Tifa’s hips. Denzel stood just behind her, biting his lip with an anxiety in his eyes she didn’t care to see. She sighed, unwrapping Marlene and stepping back so she could squat down at their level.

“Someone got into the house, but I’m fine. Cloud’s fine. He’s just downstairs for a minute. You two should go back to bed. We’ll all talk in the morning, okay?” Marlene just stared back at her with wide eyes, shaking slightly and she felt such a surge of protectiveness that she couldn’t help but crush her into a hug and the little girl responded in kind. “I promise you’re okay. I’m probably not going to go back to sleep and Cloud definitely won’t. You have nothing to worry about. You can even sleep in Denzel’s room tonight if you want.”

Denzel didn’t look like he was particularly on board with that, but one pleading look from Tifa later and he sighed, grabbing Marlene’s hand. He dragged her away and Tifa waited until he shut the door behind them before she went back to her own room, falling onto the bed and curling into a ball on her side. She grabbed Cloud’s pillow and buried her face in it, inhaling his scent.

Whatever Cloud was doing, he was taking his sweet time. Tears threatened and she squeezed her eyes shut. She wasn’t completely useless; sure, it had been a very long time since they’d travelled the world and she definitely wasn’t in the same shape she’d been then, but she could handle herself. He probably would have made it into the room and surprised her, but she could have dealt with it from there on out. If he had gone for the kids though and something bad had happened before she could get there...

“You okay?” Cloud’s warm hand came to rest on her lower back and she felt the mattress dip under his weight as he sat down behind her at the edge of the bed. She hadn’t even heard him coming, adding more fuel to her despair. She nodded into his pillow and he snorted a little laugh, laying down behind her and pressing himself flush against her back, curling his strong legs behind hers. “Guess I’m here since I’ve misplaced my pillow in the last ten minutes.”

She didn’t respond to his attempt at levity and he fell quiet. They laid like that for a while, until she slowly relaxed back into him, his fingers trailing a soothing design over her hip. When he did speak again, she thought that she might have almost been about to fall asleep, feeling safe and warm in his arms.

“We should buy another place... It can be close by, but I don’t think I want to leave you here alone at night anymore. Too many people know we live up here.”

“Yeah...” She twisted to face him, shoving a leg between both of his to get as close as possible. “It’ll be weird for me not living above the bar... But it’ll be better for the kids anyways. A real home.”

He hummed his agreement, burying his nose in her soft hair, breathing deeply. “I just want you to be safe. I’ll schedule deliveries so I’m home at night until then.”

“Cloud, I took care of myself for a long time before you showed up,” she protested, feeling a little affronted that he thought so little of her abilities. Perhaps he needed a personal lesson.

“I know. People weren’t out kill you though were they?”

“No, but-“

“It’ll make me feel better. I don’t want to go out on deliveries and worry the whole time I’m gone. Please don’t fight me on this,” he implored, moving to nuzzle his face against the soft column of her throat before laying down sweet kisses and she melted.

“That’s cheating, Cloud Strife,” she sighed happily, squirming in his arms.

“But I win, right?” He mumbled into her skin.

“I guess we both do if you don't stop what you're doing...”

"Never."


	2. fear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> timeframe: directly after remake

Being out of Midgar was strange, he decided, staring up at the starry sky. Cloud couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen the vast open space unobstructed, or smelled fresh clean air. He breathed in deeply, but quietly, not wanting to wake Tifa who was on her side beside him, cuddled up against his arm.

They had left Midgar so suddenly that they had no supplies and nothing at all to camp with; but eventually it was just too dark for them to keep going without risking the lives of the group who couldn’t see in the dark, like Red and himself.

He’d been prepared to give her almost no choice in the matter of where she slept when they’d decided to settle for the night about halfway between Midgar and Kalm, an overwhelming need to keep her close sweeping through him. He was grateful that instead she hadn’t protested his quiet request, simply nodded and laid herself down close enough that he could feel her breath on his arm. After she’d fallen asleep, she’d subconsciously moved in towards his warmth and he didn’t mind. At all.

Every time he closed his eyes, his mind replayed the image of her falling to the ground in front of Sephiroth after he...

He couldn’t stand to think about it. He felt

choked up with too many emotions, fear chief among them. He’d seen Barret go down too in whatever that was supposed to be - a vision? - and then it had just _happened_ , right in front of his eyes in President Shinra’s office and he could do absolutely nothing to stop it. The Whispers had fixed what was obviously not meant to be and Barret was snoring away nearby safe and sound, but now they were gone. And he couldn’t risk it. So he was awake, staring into the heavens, keeping an eye on her.

He wished he had a blanket or something to throw over her. He cursed his lack of foresight, though leaving the city had really never entered his mind back when they were just on a mission to rescue Aerith.

“Cloud, what’s wrong?” Tifa muttered sleepily from beside him. He let his head fall to the side to look down at her, gaze lingering on the soft smile she gave him. More and more often he was the recipient of that look and he couldn’t deny it gave him a thrill of satisfaction to be the one to put it there. Especially now, when she really had nothing to smile about after the destruction of Sector Seven.

“Are you cold?”

She lifted one shoulder in a shrug. “It’s okay. It’s just one night.”

He lifted his arm up, a clear invitation. She scooted over after a moment of deliberation, settling down with her hand resting on his chest, tucked up tightly against him. His heart was beating so fast he was sure she could hear it, but as she slowly relaxed against him, he found his body responding in kind, feeling comfortable enough to fully wrap the arm she was using partly as a pillow tightly around her shoulders.

They laid like that for a while. He wanted to sleep, but he couldn’t stop mulling a thought over and over in his head. Her breathing wasn’t deep and even yet, so just to get it off his mind he asked, “Tifa... what did you see when we were in that theatre room at Shinra? After the regular show about the lifestream?”

She didn’t answer for a long time and he thought maybe he’d been wrong and she was asleep. He chanced a look down at her, but her eyes were open, staring a hole through his navy sweater. Eventually she looked up to meet his gaze.

“I saw all those people running... the tornadoes... that thing in the sky... and then I felt someone behind me. Then it was like I was watching outside of my body because I saw myself laying on the ground. Then Sephiroth killed Barret.” She bit her lip. “He killed me first, didn’t he?”

Cloud reached up to wrap his hand around her much smaller one on his chest, squeezing hard. He didn’t trust himself to speak so he said nothing; she seemed to understand, laying her head back down on his shoulder.

“Is that why you wanted me to stay with you tonight?” She asked tentatively.

“Not the only one. I just...”

“I know, Cloud. I don’t want you to worry though, okay? If something bad happens... you can’t hold yourself to a promise you can’t possibly keep. You can’t always be looking out for me.”

“I can try,” he bit out gruffly, now wanting the conversation to be over. It didn’t matter what she said to him, he was never going to stop trying to make sure she was safe.

“I want you to look out for _you_. I’ll never be able to forgive myself if something happens because you’re too busy watching my back instead of your own.” Her voice was slightly raised in volume and he knew she was getting a little worked up. He looked over to where the rest of their party was resting, but their talk hadn’t woken any of them so far. She followed suit, rolling backwards a little to take in the sight of Aerith curled up against Red not too far away, with Barret just off to the side of them leaning back against a large tree. “They need just as much of your attention.”

“You can’t stop me anyways,” he half joked, because really, she could probably kick his ass if she really wanted to. It’s not like he’d be fighting back.

“Cloud-“

“There’s no point in arguing with me about it. I can’t just pretend I didn’t see what I saw and hope for the best,” he cut in. “I promise I’ll be extra cautious, but you might get sick of me real soon.”

That put the smile back on her face. “Me, get sick of you? No way.”

He snorted laugh. “Get some sleep, okay? I’ll have to do as your heater for a night.”

“I’m glad I found you that day at the station,” she whispered, snuggling closer as if there was any space left between them. “I’m sorry how it’s turned out so far.”

“I’m not,” he said back, little more than a murmur. He closed his eyes and allowed himself to doze; he would catch some sleep when they were somewhere more secure. For now, he was content to feel Tifa against him, trusting him completely to keep her safe in the night.

He wouldn’t let her down.


	3. breakdown

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> timeframe: set in-game (original)

Cloud had left the group to do their own thing once they had reached Icicle Inn, needing the space to get his head on straight. Aerith was gone, but they couldn’t afford to be derailed now; he would have to hold it together until this was all over. As the leader, he effectively had no choice.

He took his time wandering around to each of the shops, buying what he figured they might need and then a little more before he couldn’t put it off any longer. Eventually he had to get some rest and prolonging it wouldn’t stop the nightmares or the potential discussions the group would want to have from coming.

When he’d first given everyone the go ahead to do what they needed to do to prepare for the rest of their journey, they had all agreed to meet back at the inn to eat and to discuss the next best steps. Everyone had been somber, barely nodding in agreement before wordlessly slipping away. They’d all come so far together and losing Aerith... it felt like losing family. It _hurt_ in a way he could never have imagined it would. He felt a little panicked at the thought and he was surprised to find he felt terrified that it could happen again, that he had allowed these people to slowly but surely get under his skin and mean something to him. There had always been that unspoken possibility that something could happen to any of them - they were chasing Sephiroth, after all - but somehow it had seemed distant and a little impersonal. They had all barely known each other when they’d started this journey, save for Tifa, Barret and himself.

He supposed you didn’t travel in close quarters, sometimes unbearably so, across the planet without forming a bond of some kind. Watching each other’s backs while having to fill each other’s emotional needs and learning to deal with the unpleasant sides of everybody’s personalities were all definitely issues on a relationship level, not an acquaintance level.

He was still struggling with his thoughts and what he was going to say to his companions when he walked through the doors of the inn, not surprised to see only Vincent and Cid draped over the lobby couches. This was the only chance the group would have to try to process what had just happened at the City of the Ancients with any real space from each other; he expected most would be back late.

He took a seat on the chair facing opposite the couches and sat in comfortable silence with the two older men. They didn’t speak at all, knowing that there wasn’t much good to say after the day they’d had, content to wait and watch the slow trickle of their friends returning. After a couple of hours had passed, the dinner hour looming with everyone back except for Tifa and Nanaki, Cloud could feel his anxiety beginning to ramp up. Barret kept shooting worried looks his way and he felt like he couldn’t breathe properly when he finally broke the quiet between them all, asking if anyone had seen where they’d gone to when they’d all split off earlier.

Nobody had seen Tifa. Vincent mentioned that he had seen Nanaki wander off into the hallway where the inn’s rooms were when he’d gotten back from a very short trip to the weapons shop. He was likely still resting in the hall.

“We gotta go look,” Barret finally exploded, jumping up and waving his gun arm around in his usual obnoxious fashion. “It ain’t good weather for what she’s wearin’, not to mention that she ain’t said a word to anybody since we left the city.”

Cloud knew he was right and was cursing himself for not keeping a closer eye on her; Tifa had run from the altar after seeing what Sephiroth had done, not once looking back and she hadn’t been present when he’d decided to lay Aerith to rest in the lake surrounding the conch either. Her body language had screamed ‘stay away’ their entire trek to Icicle Inn and he’d been trying to be mindful of it. It hadn’t exactly been difficult to accept when he was dealing with his own grief.

“Cloud.” Vincent cut in quietly, but considering how rarely he spoke, it was enough to momentarily end what would have been a massive rampage on Barret’s part. “You should go and check with Nanaki.”

He nodded, standing to walk briskly over to the hallway, finding Vincent had been right. Strangely, Nanaki had laid himself out in front of one of doors at the very end of the hall. He lifted his head when he sensed Cloud approaching. He rose with feline grace and met the man halfway, falling back to sit on his haunches to fix Cloud with a sad look.

“Tifa’s still not back-“ Cloud started, but Nanaki shook his head and he broke off.

“Tifa is in that room,” he began, looking back to where he’d been sitting and relief slammed into Cloud. Just as quickly the big cat took it away. “She has been in there for some time... I attempted to get her to let me in, but she would not answer. Vincent also tried earlier on with the same result.”

Cloud frowned, terrible scenarios running through his mind in quick succession. What if she was hurt? They’d all been so devastated over Aerith that perhaps they’d missed an injury on the martial artist.

“She was crying for a time...” Nanaki sighed, looking down at the floor. “She has been quiet for a while now however. I am hoping she finally exhausted herself enough to fall asleep; I have heard nothing to indicate any different. But I do not think it is wise to leave her alone.”

He just nodded. Nanaki took his leave then, wandering away with barely a sound. Cloud turned his gaze to the door Tifa was behind, unsure what the best way to go about this was... Did he bother to attempt to knock and get her to let him in? What if she was asleep? He definitely didn’t want to wake her if she managed to fall asleep. He could probably intimidate the innkeeper to give him a spare key...

Deciding that would do, he walked back out to the front and purchased rooms for the rest of the group. It didn’t take much to get a key to Tifa’s room - most people were easy to scare with his eyes alone, though the sword strapped to his back certainly helped. The innkeeper wasn’t as hesitant as he’d assumed he would be anyways, having watched the misfit group rush in together when they’d first arrived.

After one last round of checking in with the others, all of them deciding that talking strategy could wait one more day while he dealt with Tifa, he slowly made his way to the room at the end of the hall. Most of the group were going to head off to try to find some food before retiring for the night; he wouldn’t be eating tonight unless he could convince Tifa to do the same.

He hesitated just as he was about to slip the key in, deciding maybe he should knock first just in case... Lightly, but with just enough force behind it that he knew she would hear him, he knocked. And he waited.

Nothing.

He slipped the key in and with a blip of green, he eased the door open slowly. The light in the hall illuminated the room enough that Tifa’s form was just visible, huddled up in the center of one of the two beds in the room, covered in blankets. He closed the door slowly, cringing a little at the snap of the lock sliding back into place, but if she knew he’d come in she never made it known.

He leaned his sword against the wall by the door, shrugging off his pauldron and harness, laying them quietly on the floor before making his way over to her. He wasn’t surprised to see her eyes were open, watching him approach; being a heavy sleeper could very well mean death on the road.

“I just want to be alone, Cloud,” she said, breaking the silence. She didn’t say anything more, choosing to simply turn away from him instead, showing him her back.

He didn’t miss the way her body began to shiver and shake as she did so and he felt like his heart was being squeezed in his chest. All the feelings he’d been trying to keep at bay were swiftly rising to the surface as he watched it being mirrored by her so plainly. She was trying to cover her harsh intake of breath with every sob trying to burst from her body and he wanted to scream at her that he understood, to let them be miserable together. “Do you?”

_Do you want to be alone?_

“She was... such a good person,” she gasped, covering her face with her hands. “I’ve never met anyone like her before and now she’s gone. All the things I never said and all the things she never got to do with her life-“

He slid into the bed behind her, his hand coming to rest on her shoulder in what he hoped was a comforting gesture. He made sure to keep a respectable distance between their bodies, not wanting to crowd her when she was so vulnerable. “We’ll just have to do those things for her now,” he murmured quietly, “we both know that’s what she would’ve wanted.”

“It’s not enough,” she whispered, breaking down into full, wrenching sobbing. “Shinra ruined her life and then they took it from her too. Sephiroth would never be what he is without them.”

Cloud was surprised and dismayed to feel the slightest prick in the corners of his eyes. Tears. When was the last time he had _cried_? But the sounds she was making were tearing him apart. He had known the two girls were close so it shouldn’t be surprising, but Tifa didn’t cry, at least not where others could hear or see her. He was shocked. Helpless. He felt like an idiot just laying there behind her, saying and doing nothing, but at least he was here. Tifa needed someone and, if he were honest with himself, he was secretly glad it was only him she was allowing to see her this way.

The better part of ten minutes passed before she started to calm down, sniffling here and there. “I should’ve been up there,” she finally spoke, listless and emotionless. “She wasn’t prepared for any of this and we knew it. I was standing right there. It should have been...”

 _Me_. He heard what she wasn’t saying and he felt dread settling in his gut.

He flipped her onto her back so fast that she was startled, staring up at him with wide eyes, tension in her frame as he hovered over her. He was vibrating with rage, glaring at her so hard he felt like his eyes might explode. “Don’t you dare even _think_ that ever again. I was her bodyguard so if anyone deserves to be blamed it’s me. _Nobody_ should have died.”

“She knew something was coming and I knew it, Cloud. I asked her over and over and she would never tell me. She knew this was going to happen to her and I should’ve paid more attention so she didn’t run off without us.” She sat up in a rush, pushing him forcefully back away from her, growing more and more angry the more she spoke. “She was everything that was good in the world. She had a mother waiting at home for her and she could’ve done great things for this planet. I have nothing, no one and no place to go.”

“You have me.” He said it with such a finality that he felt as shocked as she now appeared to be. It hit him then, with her red-rimmed eyes blown open in pain and confusion, and he knew it as an absolute truth; something had been growing inside of him since she’d first run into him at the Midgar train station, something he had tried to push and shove into the little box in his mind where he kept the things he didn’t want to deal with or that he didn’t understand. Hearing her talk like this, as if she didn’t matter to herself or anyone else, elicited an overwhelming surge of protectiveness that he didn’t know what to do with. Cloud was a man of few words and, normally, he was a man of few emotions - except where she was concerned.

“Listen... You know I’m not the greatest talker when it comes to feelings. I don’t want to hear you say something like that. I don’t wish Aerith was dead, but... I don’t wish it was anyone. Especially not you.” She didn’t say anything, just kept watching him. “We’re going to get through this, Tifa. We’re going to get Sephiroth and make him pay for all the things he’s done. Aerith wouldn’t want us to stop and if we did... She would have died for nothing.”

“I’m tired of just getting through life, Cloud. I’m always grieving something,” she whispered, rubbing tiredly at her face.

How had he never seen until now just how much pain she was carrying around? She looked like a broken shell of herself right now and he was realizing that all the time, every day, the group saw a carefully packaged up Tifa. He didn’t want that continue.

“Look. I know this whole thing started as me trying to get revenge on Sephiroth and I thought that... When this was all over I might... Find somewhere else to be. But I’m not leaving. When it’s all over, I’m gonna rebuild your bar with you and Barret and until then we’ll figure it out, okay?” He felt his face flush with heat as he stuttered through his intentions, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly. “I mean, if that’s what you want too.”

She gave him a watery smile and nodded, wiping at her eyes. “I’m sorry, Cloud.”

“Don’t be,” he said quickly, taking a chance and grabbing her hand, gripping tightly. “I told you once before it’s not stupid to cry. You should’ve told me you weren’t doing alright from the beginning.”

“What about you? You were just as close with her...” She trailed off and he thought she might have wanted to say something more but in the end she stopped herself, falling into a worried silence.

He wasn’t doing great but he wasn’t about to dump anything on her now. He’d have to swallow the crushing guilt for a while yet. She - and everyone else - needed him to be strong right now.

“I’m fine. We just need to keep moving.”

She frowned at that, ducking her head down to pick absently at the blanket with her free hand. “Just tell me if you’re not okay, alright? We should try to be there for each other instead of bottling things up all the time.”

He nodded, rubbing his thumb across the back of her knuckles once before letting go. “Do you want to go get something to eat?”

She shook her head. “I just want to try to get more sleep. I’m not hungry.”

“I’ll let it slide just this one time, but you’re eating something in the morning,” he ordered, satisfied when she looked back up at him and nodded in acceptance.

“Don’t let me stop you though. Go. Eat. I’m fine.” She waved in the direction of the door.

He shook his head, laying down next to her on his back. He didn’t want to chance leaving and her breaking down alone again. He was damn tired, too. “Do you mind?”

Her lips quirked up in a smirk as she looked down at him. “It looks like you made up your mind already.”

He shrugged, fighting his own smile as she settled in on the other side, turning to face him and he decided to do the same, letting his arm fall to rest in the space in between them. His heartbeat quickened when she shyly slid her hand under his.

“I’ll be here when you wake up. Get some rest, Tifa.”

She closed her eyes, squeezing one of his fingers gently in acknowledgement. He patiently waited until he was sure she was sleeping, her body fully relaxed and her breathing deep and even. Only then did he try to rest, content with the proof that she was okay for now, allowing the weight of the day to finally crash into him.

He was physically and emotionally drained and he briefly wondered how he was supposed to go on from here even though he knew his reason was in bed with him, with even more reasons scattered in other rooms. Nausea swirled in his stomach as his mind replayed the scene of Sephiroth falling from the sky, the stain of red on pink...

_I’m so sorry, Aerith._

He tried to focus on the feel of Tifa’s smaller hand in his and the softness of her skin as he tried to sleep, pushing any other thought out of his mind as best as he could.

When he finally drifted off, it was with the sight of her laid out beside him memorized in detail, the strong and steady sound of her heartbeat filling his ears. 


End file.
